


Again

by Fluffchick



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Fluff, M/M, Missing Scene, Sam Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 03:09:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11222040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffchick/pseuds/Fluffchick
Summary: This is my first, hope you like it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first, hope you like it.

Dean is mad at him. Again. Still? He sighs as he looks out his window. 

They had just finished defeating Ramiel. Well the boys and Mary defeated him, Castiel was forced to be a spectator. 

Mary chose to visit Wally's family and inform them of his demise. Castiel had sensed Mary's guilt and thought this may be her way of trying to ease the pain.

He and Dean are in the Impala, hurtling down the highway towards the Bunker. Sam is driving Castiel's pickup. Dean felt Castiel wasn't up to driving after his near miss. Castiel didn't argue. This ride with Dean may be the last time he gets to spend with him. Surely, Dean will send him away for his declaration. 

Castiel can feel Dean's eyes on him, but he refuses to meet his gaze. He knows Dean is upset about his declaration, but in Castiel's defense, he thought he was going to die. Who knew the King of Hell would save him? He really needed to thank Crowley. 

Castiel watches as the fields and trees blur together. His disjointed thoughts turn to the first time he saw Dean. Or rather Dean's soul. 

At first, Castiel thought he found the wrong soul. Why would Heaven want to save someone with a soul that was pitch black? Usually souls were one predominant color rimmed with a secondary and maybe a tertiary color. Sam's soul, for example, was pink for compassion, tinged with green for guilt and gray for sorrow. Black meant pure evil.

Dean's soul was also minuscule compared to other souls. Most souls fill a body, but Dean's was only the size of a human heart. As Castiel watched Dean's soul, he could see flashes of white, almost like lightening streaking through Dean's soul. White stood for purity. Something he would expect of a righteous man.

Castiel grabbed Dean's shoulders and said "Come. It is time to leave this place." Castiel never disobeyed an order after all.

Castiel watched as Dean clawed through the Earth and pulled himself from his grave. Once his body was free of the Earth, Dean's soul stretched out tentatively. The first waves were the purple of surprise. Followed quickly by yellow for hope. Other colors followed rapidly; orange for joy and red for love (probably a thought of Sam.) Soon the colors were fighting for dominance and his soul was pitch black once more. This time Castiel realized it was because there were so many emotions and characteristics, not because Dean was evil. As Dean gained control of his emotions, his soul shrank once more and fit perfectly in his heart.

Castiel's voice rang out clear as a bell "Dean Winchester is saved." In that moment, Castiel felt joy and the first stirrings of love.

\----

"C'mon Cas, we're home." Dean's voice is weary.

They decide to leave all their weapons in the Impala since it’s in the Bunker's garage. Sam stumbles off to bed. Dean heads to the kitchen for a beer. Castiel wanders to the library. He still isn't ready to face Dean and he doesn't need to sleep. He decides to look for a solution to their Nephilim dilemma.

As he is searching the dusty tomes, Dean grabs his hand and pulls him toward their sleeping quarters. They enter Dean's room as Dean is spinning Castiel to face him.

"We're still covered in blood and gore," Dean murmurs. 

Before Castiel can 'mojo' the mess away, Dean is stripping him out of his trench coat and suit coat. There is blood and black goo on his white button down, so Dean removes that also. Castiel stands there stunned and unsure of how he should be reacting. Dean pushes at him gently until he is sitting on the bed. Dean proceeds to remove Castiel's shoes.

"Dean..."

"Shh Cas." Dean places a finger against his lips to silence him. Castiel absentmindedly touches his lips, as Dean continues to undress him. Once his shoes and socks are gone; Dean urges him to stand up so he can remove his pants. Dean throws the offending, dirty items to the corner of the room. Then he quickly strips down to his boxer briefs. He sits on the bed leaning against the headboard. Smoothly pulling Castiel in to his lap on the way down.

"Too close...way too close." Dean is mumbling.

"Dean you're the one that pulled me into your lap!" Castiel is exasperated as he struggles to stand up.

Dean tightens his arms around Castiel. "No. Cas you came too close to dying!" 

Castiel looks up into Dean's eyes for the first time since they left the barn. Tears are welling and Castiel can feel the radiating pain. It is his turn to shush Dean. He places his hand on Dean's jaw, murmuring reassurances. He's okay. He's still here. His thumb starts rubbing Dean's cheek. Seeking to comfort and be comforted. 

Dean closes his eyes and they sit like this for an eternity. Just before Dean falls asleep, he mumbles, "Love you too."

Castiel is momentarily stunned. He is sure Dean will regret those words in the morning. That is if he remembers. Castiel knows he should get up; he knows Dean will be embarrassed waking up next to him. Instead he shifts off Dean's lap and adjusts them so that Dean is using his chest as a pillow. One hand rests at Dean's hip, the other lightly stroking his back. He closes his eyes and lets his thoughts drift.

Hours later, Dean starts to move restlessly as he awakens. Castiel is pulled from his reverie with Dean's movement. He can feel his vessel harden as Dean brushes against him and Castiel freezes. Dean's hand flexes against his hardened member and he sees Dean's eyes fly open. They stare wide eyed at each other. Castiel cannot push any words out of his throat. 

"What the hell, Cas?!" Dean accuses, pushing up onto his elbow. 

Castiel is upset that Dean is blaming him and pushes out with his hand. Dean's eyes go wide once more as he falls to the floor.

Castiel is up and at the door. He hears a satisfying thud and a 'Son of a bitch!' 

As he exits he growls "This is not my fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else hear 'Dean Winchester is saved' in Misha's voice? It's a parade!


	2. Chapter 2

Sam opens his door in time to see Cas stomping from Dean's room to his own, clad only in boxers that are suspiciously tented. He can hear Dean slamming drawers before he heads towards Cas' room to fling clothes at him. Sam is surprised that Dean is also stripped to his underwear and noticeably aroused. He quickly closes his own door before they become aware of their audience. Although, he probably didn't need to worry. Cas and Dean rarely had eyes for anyone else when they were near each other. 

Sam wishes to Chuck that he could erase that scene from his mind. It wasn't really something he wanted to see OR remember.

After a few moments of silence, he stealthily opens his door to sneak out for a run.

\----  
Sam hopes he has been gone long enough for his brother and Cas to have cooled off, both literally and figuratively. They need to focus on finding Kelly Kline and determine how they are going to handle the situation.

After a quick shower, he searches the bunker thoroughly before finding Dean in the laundry room. Cas isn't anywhere to be found.

"So what are we going to do about this situation?" He questions. 

Dean glares at him and says gruffly "There is no situation." 

Sam raises his eyebrows. "Uh, I was talking about Kelly Kline, Dean." 

Sam flicks his eyes to where Dean scrubs the blood and goo from Cas' trench coat. "What did you think I was referring to?"

"Nothing." Dean growls.

"Well, where's Cas? We need to get to work."

"He's around." Dean grounds out.

"Well, I couldn't find him anywhere in the Bunker." Sam watches with interest as Dean's whole body stills at those words.

"He isn't in his room watching Netflix?"

"No, I checked."

Dean drops what he is doing and tears from the laundry room. Sam snaps his jaw shut and takes off after him. 

They search the area immediately outside the Bunker and the park down the street. Sam spots Cas sitting in the branches of a tree at the park. Before Sam can point him out to Dean, he sees Cas' pleading look. He keeps quiet. After a few more minutes of looking, he suggests checking to make sure Cas' pickup is still at the bunker. The distraction works. The truck is there, as expected. 

"Well he obviously hasn't gone far, maybe we should give him some time to himself. Maybe he's upset about almost dying again." Sam says.

He immediately wishes he hadn't phrased it that way when he sees Dean's pinched features. He rakes his hands through his hair.

Dean's face is free of emotion as he says. "I'm gonna unload an' clean the weapons." Dean stalks off to the garage and likely the gun range.

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose. He wishes he could stay out of their drama, but they do need to get going on the Kelly Kline search. He heads back to the park.


	3. Chapter 3

"Cas, you wanna come down from there?"

"Not particularly."

Sam sighs. It has been forever since he climbed a tree. Not that he has any problems lifting himself up into the branches and getting situated. There is a bee hive a few branches above them. That explains Cas' presence in the oak tree. 

Sam studies Cas as he is watching the bees. Cas is wearing a blue Led Zeppelin T-shirt and jeans. He isn't wearing socks or shoes. He realizes Cas is avoiding looking at him. Sam sighs again. This isn't going to be an easy conversation. He wonders if Cas knows that Dean purchased that T-shirt because it reminded him of Cas' eyes. Not that Dean would admit to it.

"My brother loves you." Sam starts " I know you don't believe..."

Sam trails off at Cas' quiet "I know."

Sam snaps his mouth shut, opens it to say something and snaps it shut again. He is at a loss for words and looks to the sky for inspiration.

"Dean tells me a lot. I need you, Cas. You're family. Love you, too. You're like a brother to me. Let's go home." Cas' gravelly voice goes on. "I don't doubt that Dean loves me. But Dean is also mad at me a lot. I... I just need to give him time to cool off so that maybe..." Cas closes his eyes and looks pained.

"Maybe he won't make me leave again." Cas all but whispers as he blinks away tears.

Sam reaches out and places a hand on Cas' forearm. "Cas, Dean isn't going to make you leave."

"Yes, he will Sam. It is what Dean does when he feels threatened." It's Cas' turn to look skyward. "My feelings for him are a threat to how he views himself. Because my vessel is male. He does not love me the same way I love him."

Cas' Adam's apple bobs as he fights through his emotions. It amazes Sam how far Cas has come since they first met and he feels the need to address Cas' declaration from the previous evening.

"I love you too Cas. I know I don't say it, but I wanted you to know."

"I know." Cas smiles at him. They both know their love isn't the same as the love between Cas and his brother.

They sit quietly for a few moments. Sam thinks of and discards a few arguments for getting Cas out of the tree. 

Sam starts a new thread of conversation. "Cas, where are your shoes?"

The Angel of the Lord blushes, he actually blushes. Sam hides a smirk.

"I believe they are still in Dean's room."

"Dean's room huh?" Sam is openly smirking now. "I saw Dean fling those clothes at you this morning. Why do you think he didn't give you back your clothes? or shoes?"

Cas tilts his head to scrutinize Sam as he always does when he is confused.

"Cas, you could have mojoed your clothes clean. Why was Dean cleaning them?"

"Sam, you know there are still many things humans do that are beyond my comprehension." 

"Dean kept your shoes so you wouldn't leave. He used to do the same thing to me when I was a teenager. He didn't think I would sneak out if I didn't have them." Sam smiles "He would also unhook the batteries in the cars nearby, so I couldn't hotwire them." Sam laughs. For a moment he is lost in the memory.

"Of course, after the third car in a row wouldn't start, I checked under the hood. Boy was he mad when I got back!" Sam smiles now, though he was furious at the time.

"I bet if we check your pickup, the battery will be disconnected or it'll have been disabled in some other way."

Cas gives him a small smile. "But Sam, why would Dean clean my clothes? As you say, I could just use my mojo."

"I think he was cleaning your clothes because it's something tangible that he can do. Ya know?" 

Cas is tilting his head again, eyes narrowed.

"Cas, my brother couldn't save you last night. Crowley did. You know Dean is beating himself up over that."

"But I didn't expect to be saved, that is why I said my goodbyes."

"I know that Cas, but Dean is never going to accept that he can't save everyone. He thinks that's his job."

"That is not possible."

"I know Cas."

Quiet descends once more. Sam gives Cas time to digest things.

"Cas, did Dean really say the words 'I Love you' to you?" Sam is floored at the thought.

"Last night before he drifted off he said love you, too." Cas confirms.

"That clinches it. Dean must love you the same way you love him." Sam says as he swings out of the tree. "I've only ever heard him say that to my mom. And that was in heaven. He's certainly never told me that."

Cas clambers out of the tree after him. "Do you really think so Sam?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Thank you Sam. You are a good friend." Cas clasps his shoulder as he says this.

They walk in companionable silence back to the Bunker. Cas heads to his room and Sam goes in search of his brother.

\----  
He finds Dean in the gun range as he expected. What he did not expect was for Dean to be sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, sniffling softly. Sam's hands plunge into his hair once more. A pissed off Dean he can handle, but a crying Dean is a whole other animal. He slides down the wall to sit with his brother. Sam allows Dean time to pull himself together without comment.

"We almost lost him, Sammy."

"I know Dean, but we didn't."

"I can't keep going through this." 

"You can Dean, because you have to. This is our life. Has always been our life. Somehow things always manage to work out. Have faith."

"In Chuck?" Dean asks sarcastically.

"No Dean, in us. You, me, an' Cas. Team Free Will." Sam slaps his brother on the leg. "That's who I have faith in."

"Yeah, okay Sammy." Dean stands and stretches his back.

"Is Cas back yet?" Dean asks casually, as he starts reassembling the gun he had been working on.

"Yep, in his room." With that Sam ambles to the kitchen to make himself a salad.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel hears a knock on his door. He opens it hesitantly "Dean." He says in his deep voice.

"Cas." Dean returns as he strides through the door. 

Once inside he turns to Castiel and seems to be at a loss. His whiskey colored eyes bounce around the room, landing on Castiel again when they fail to find anything else of interest. Castiel's room is sparsely furnished.

"Really need to decorate in here, Cas. Add some warm, homey touches." 

Castiel narrows his eyes and cants his head. "I was not sure this was my home."

Castiel sees Dean's flinch and is instantly regretful. "My apologies Dean, you have offered me space in your life and I am grateful."

"No Cas, it's okay. I know I'm not always welcoming. I'm sorry."

Castiel realizes they have gravitated towards one another, as they always seem to do. Their eyes meet and they have a conversation in a way that so few can.

Castiel swallows, "I will leave if you..."

"NO!" Dean grabs his shoulders. 'Please don't leave me again!" 

Castiel pulls him in for a hug when his voice breaks on the word 'again.'

"Dean, I do not want to make you unhappy. Just tell me what to do."

"Stay with me Huggy Bear." 

Castiel gives Dean a gummy smile. "Of course."

At last they are both home.


End file.
